​COUPLES & RELATIONSHIPS:   working with all sexual orientations and types of relationships

(Relational/Problem Solution/Somatic/Cognitive-Cultural)​

It is wonderful when two people show up for each other, have both mutual and individual interests and space, can laugh together, accept differences, develop their own "language" and share values--all in the name of love.

And also negotiate each other's quirks, habits and common remarks: "If you would have done what I said, follow my directions; I told you the best way to get there is."---​just to name a few.  From a distance, these interactions, could be comical.

Most couples come to couples/relationship counseling in order to work things out, whether to make the current situation better, or to separate from the relationship with mutual respect. I truly enjoy working with couples to help them negotiate and help to resolve conflcts.  Couples counseling can at first feel vulnerable, and sometimes it can be awkward to say outloud to your partner,  something you have witheld.

With intention to make things better: communication concerns, unmet needs, family differences, a breach of trust, a betrayal, recurring conflicts, growing apart, desiring time together or more time apart, an open relationship, monogamy, we seek couples counseling.

Some LGBTQ couples experience additional challenges in being both in "Queer" culture with its norms and expectations and in mainstream society in which we live.

When working with couples first off, I ask how each person sees the problem and why they are here, the history of your coupling, the current stressors and your individual and partnership strengths.  I help you to listen more deeply and carefully, learn about each other's perspective, foster empathy where possible, seek solutions, offer suggestions, and nurture a kinder and clearer form of communication in your patnership.  Bringing humor also helps--softens and lightens the experience.

In cases where people want to separate or one wants to, my intention is to help you separate with  mutual respect towards the next steps and give time where needed.